You're young...but you're old?

Our negative and sometimes downright nasty stereotypes about age are entrenched, pervasive and very difficult to escape or ignore.  The other day I was standing in front of the birthday card section at a local store, and here’s what I saw:  On the front of one card were two older ladies blowing on party favors.  The text read:  “At our age, we don’t call it a ‘party favor’ anymore.”  Inside:  “We call it a work-out.”  Or how about this one:  An overdressed woman in a fur coat is standing outside a bathroom stall looking confused.  Inside the card, the text reads:  “At your age it all comes down to one question.  What was it I came in here for?” Really?  The “golden years” are about not having the breath to blow on a party favor and forgetting why you walked into the bathroom?So, I wondered:  How old do you have to be for the birthday card industry to assault you with insults masquerading as humor?  Not as old as you think.  Maybe, in fact, as old as you – and I -- are right now.  On one card, a cross-eyed cartoon vulture is perched on a branch.  The cover text reads:  “So, you’re 50.  Hey, look on the bright side.”  Inside: “Okay, so there is no bright side.  There’s a bright light, but you’re gonna want to stay away from that.”Whaaat?  At fifty there is no “bright side”?  At fifty you’re eyeing death?  But wait…it gets worse.  The card next to it proclaims in big bubble letters: “40 isn’t old!”  Inside:  “Cover isn’t true!” Forty is old?  What about “40 is the new 30”?  Aren’t magazines targeted to women of a certain age (now apparently defined as the first day after our thirty-fifth birthday) proclaiming just this in upbeat stories accompanied by airbrushed, studio-lit photos of gorgeous women who are forty but look twenty-five?I’m confused.  No, I’m not confused about why I find myself in the bathroom.  I’m confused about these conflicting you’re old no you’re young no you’re old messages.  I’m confused (and angry) about the damaging, sometimes self-fulfilling stereotypes about aging.  Aren’t you?  Please vent (in the comments section)!  Venting is an anti-aging strategy.