Old and NOT in the way

Among the many differences between life in Europe and life in the U.S., one of the most consistently startling to me is how many old people you see...everywhere: behind counters in the shops, rolling out dough in bakeries, strolling on the streets, waiting for buses, shopping in grocery stores, socializing in cafes, sitting on benches and reading the newspaper, enjoying concerts. In other words, they are a visible part of their community. A normal part of everyday life. This woman, In Rethymnon (Crete) and her husband own a phyllo bakery. They are in their 80s.This man sells produce from his farm at the Minoos Market (Chania, Crete) every Saturday. His granddaughter -- or it could be his great granddaughter -- comes to help. When I bought tomatoes from him, he guided her to make the correct change for me. This 90-year-old woman, a resident of Elos, in the mountains of western Crete, is sitting out on a sunny day enjoying the festivities of the town's annual chestnut festival. In between the rousing music and traditional dancing (she taps her feet and nods her head), she chats with family and passersby. When I asked if I could take her picture, she laughed and patted my arm.These guys are sitting on  sunny bench outside the Agora, Chania's central marketplace. I sat and watched them for almost half an hour as they chatted, laughed, argued, called out to friends who passed by and generally looked like they were enjoying the morning and each others' company. And -- a big and here -- being out in the community, feeling part of the vibrant life of this small city.I think  of the difference between the lives these older people live and the ones lived in the US by the elderly (and not even old old, but just retirees in their 60s and 70s). The healthy post-retirement Americans, many of them, are opting to live in gated communities among their own kind, in secluded enclaves, no longer a vital part of their families or of a multi-generational culture. Our healthy older people go to retirement "villages" that are not villages at all. Our unhealthy elderly are warehoused in nursing homes.We will never defeat ageism if we don't live together, if older people do not publicly and actively participate in their communities, if young people don't see and know and interact everyday with older people.