Doing the work

Excessive self-esteem. An inordinate opinion of one’s own importance. Pomp.

 This is how the dark side, the underbelly, of “pride” has been defined. This is where the—oh how much I hate this concept, this phrase—“humble brag” comes from. If one is humble, one does not brag.

 Origin of “brag”: late 14century. braggen "to make a loud sound," perhaps related to bray of a trumpet

 Yes, pride is also knowing your self-worth, having a sense of agency, and being motivated to achieve. But the more you know, the more you realize you don’t know. ”Achievement” leads to humility.

 I feel called to write about this after listening to an NPR interview with John Malkovich a few days ago. He was a guest on Bullseye with Jesse Thorn, with the clear aim of promoting his new series on Apple TV+. In other words, to brag about himself. To market himself.

 He did not.

 What he did say was so astute and so humble, so deeply insightful, that I want to share it with you.

 The interviewer kept listing Malkovich’s many achievements, the stunningly idiosyncratic body of work he could lay claim to. Malkovich was having none of this. “I am not proud of my work,” he says. This flummoxes the interviewer. He thinks (I think he thinks) Malkovich doubts his own worth. No. That is not it.

 I am not proud, Malkovich repeats, because “I am just doing my job.” He explains (I will paraphrase): People buy tickets. They get babysitters. They drive to the theatre. They find parking. They have done their job. Now it is my turn to do mine. My job is to make them forget where they are. My job is to transport them. If I do that, I have done my job. I am just doing my job.

 This is so much how I feel about what I do. Readers make a choice to buy one of my books or take one out from the library or download it. They take time, they make time, to read, or listen. They have done their job. And I am beyond grateful that they do this. My job is to make them glad they did.

The illustration is a Ghanian symbol for humility and strength.